Today is a day you might know as Bruce Lee’s birthday… more far more importantly, it’s my mother’s birthday.

Happy birthday, mom!

If she hadn’t been born, I wouldn’t have been born, and that would’ve messed up a lot of things. It’d make “Bradtastic” relatively-meaningless, and what a great loss that would be! I’m grateful for my family’s willingness to put up with the way I am; I’m not easy most of the time, I have strange eccentricities, light sensitivity, headaches, nausea and crazy amounts of pain. I smoke cigarettes, my hair keeps growing and my nails remain painted…

I’m thankful for the beautiful smiles of beautiful women, hazy days and long nights. I like vanilla cigarettes. I’m thankful for the people in my life whom like me for who I am and I cherish the time i get to spend with them.

And a special thanks to Maddy, for sending me the best candy in the world… I thought Swedish Fish were good until she sent zoo and boat. Simple things can impact and change life… sweets from Sweden and Dandy Cotton Candy.

I WENT TO THE OFFICE YESTERDAY—for the second-time in quite some time—I felt a sense of purpose and clarity that I’ve clearly missed. Being in a familiar-yet-different environment, surrounded by nostalgia across two walls, overlooking North Oakland and the corner of the lake—I was struck with an unusual clarity and sense of creativity—the importance of change is clear.

At no point during my day did my shoulder ever stop hurting, and after leaving—during a late-lunch—I started to sense the muscle twitches. Office lighting is harsh, bright and unyielding—being underneath the flouresence gives me a headache—and the office is air is slightly-stale with a light scent of paper mixed with plastics and toner.

It’s clear to me—why I don’t want to be there—so I’m amazed and slightly in-awe of my willingness to set-aside these “office flaws” for the benefits of that fresh-yet-familiar environment… a “home away from home.” Perhaps it’s just that it’s unhealthy for humans to be surrounded by the same walls almost all of the time; while I’m not entirely-happy living where I am, it’s just comfortable enough to keep me content… for another day… week. Month. Year.

How long do I let that continue?

~ Sometimes the pain is just too great… it hurts too much. I don’t feel like doing anything. But if I can motivate myself just-enough to put on clothes, get in the car and drive to someplace where people gather, I  can start to feel better. I see a tall, beautiful woman with long, perfect hair float by—with four-inch high-heels yet it’s as if she’s walking on air—I smile, and immediately feel better… and I know what I need to do more of. ~

I’m thankful for the experiences that I’ve had, and hope that one day, someday, shoulder pain and narcotics will just be a thing of the past. I’m glad that I’ve had this realization, and I’m thankful for the willingness others have to do things to help me get from “Point A” to “Point B,” sacrificing things and supporting me during this journey. I’m thankful for the help from those whom motivate me to make decisions and keep moving forward when I don’t want to.

I’m thankful for—and perhaps, do not deserve—the people in my life whom have been able to make it clear that this world isn’t all about me, and that my life isn’t all about me. My friends have put colors back into my world, my family has instilled meaning and purpose into my life… and Kristen—it’d be reasonable to say that I owe her more than I’ll ever have to offer.

I wouldn’t be who I am without the people in my life; they shape my decisions and share the outcomes, help me feel better when I’m down, keep me (relatively) in line, and are my raison d’être. I try my best to help others see that life is about people: interactions and impact. In death, we take nothing with us, but in death, we can leave a lasting-legacy. That legacy could be a lot of money and a collection of nice things, however, what I remember about my Grandmother and what she means to me has nothing to do with “things” and “stuff.” I remember and care about the conversations we’d had, the time spent, and emotions felt. And I’m thankful for that…

…wait, what day is it, again? I think I heard something about turkey…

I HAVE A LONG, DEEP POST PLANNED, but I realized that I haven’t updated in a while. The birthday-and-post-catastrophe is over, things have been getting better. The weather is much nicer… we had our “first rain” and hopefully there’s more to come. Either way, I appreciate the gray-days—much easier on my eyes.

I’ve updated my Amazon Wish List; I’ve been told in the past that I’m “difficult to shop for,” perhaps that was the case, not-so-much anymore. On the list are items that I really want, but don’t end up buying for myself… at least not for a while. Worthy of special note: Andy (MagicByAndrew) gifted me a Soul Calibur 4 Arcade Stick and recently, the ASUS Eee PC 1000H (a phenomenal machine)… I’m also now a proud Kindle owner thanks to Kristen… (Kristen: The Kindle totally rocks, thank you so much!)

Sometimes I prefer gifts to cash for consulting and the life-coaching work that I do, some people can’t resist saying “I love you” in a special way and others end up at my Wishlist to get gift ideas for others or to take a look at “what’s hot.” There are items ranging from expensive-almost-ridiculous to under-$10. What my associates and I offer others (many, many men) is happiness, fulfillment and perhaps for the first time, successful relationships with others… and I ask, “what’s happiness worth to ya?” [Note: I really like Moleskine Notebooks, (visit the Moleskine Store) I fill'em up quickly. I think everyone should carry one. Also available at B&N, also makes a great gift!]

MY PLAN WAS TO RELEASE MY FIRST BOOK around the premier of VH1’s The Pickup Artist season two, however, as time goes on, I learn more, I add more… I’d like my work to feel “more complete.” The writing hasn’t stopped, however, far from it. During the process of self-discovery and journaling, I started to realize that I have within-me a fiction—my first fiction—I never thought that that would be my type of tale-telling. Without touting my own work too much, from what I can tell, it’s psychologically-thrilling and twisting—it’s an erotica dealing with power-exchange—instead of focusing on the pornographic aspects of love and writing a smut, I’m focussing on the inner-workings of human nature and behavior… with kinks.

I know that it’s not for everyone, but seriously… what is? I hope I can shock some people, open the minds of the closed and assure the closed-in and guarded that it’s okay to be who you are. I’m still fulfilling my original goals of crafting and consolidating a collection of my work called “The Art of Impression.” I’m also slowly releasing some of my new inkwork (Note: it’ll probably appear at my inkblog first, Bradtastic Inkblog aka bradchin.com) and I’m also putting together some new vectors… who knows, maybe I will have that limited addition t-shirt run that I’ve wanted!

Lastly, happy voting tomorrow. My perspectives on politics and society have been  called abhorrent in the Bay Area, particularly SF… my friends, family and associates understand, however. It’s okay to want different things, and it’s definitely okay to voice those opinions. Whatever happens this election/voting period, I’m sure that my life will still rock and I hope that yours does, too. We can either blame each other, society and the rest of the world for our problems, or we can say “the buck stops here,” and make life better.

Seriously… what’s happiness worth to ya?!

Until next time…