… and that’s okay. I’m trying to, or doing my small-part to, change society into a freer, more equal-open, relationship-oriented “real values” place. Clearly something other than this, here… what’s yours-mine-ours.

I’ll talk about the dangerous stuff, so you won’t have to. I’ll break the new ground, trailblaze so others can pave the way~behind me, forward-march-motion to a better future. The talks about multiple partners, polyamory, fetishes and kinks will be of the mildest. You mightn’t even want the wildest.

Small steps, people… left, left, left, right, left… left, left…

It’s almost my birthday, and while it has been an eventful year, it’s also been a trying, hard and somewhat lackluster year for yours-truly. No longer reeling from my Grandmother’s death on a daily-basis, I look forward to figuring out the first parts of my “true” adult life, and I’ve been fortunate to have the time to think it through.

A lot of analysis, thinking and soul-searching took place before this post; it wasn’t out of anticipation or preparation to blog something big, life just gave me an opportunity and I took it. I’ve made some changes, I’ve been on-and-off sick, still struggling with Stage 2 Hypertension and medication issues… but things aren’t all bad.

I’m lucky. I have great people in my life.

I’ve met some extraordinary women…

I wouldn’t be who I am without ‘em. I think relationships are the greatest treasure, beyond assets, and therefor, this human-connection means so much to me. I let my life play out more publicly and openly than most… I don’t necessarily encourage others to do the same, but I hope it does help to open new lines of communication and encourage honesty.

I love Tennis and I miss playing the game; I’ve been thinking about restringing one of my racquets and hitting against a ball machine just to get the feel of it (and to see if I can). I have a few friends (and a great US Open) to thank for the inspiration to try. I’m playing pool a little bit more, and I’d like to get my own table someday soon. I’ve been open and honest about my politics, drug use, sex life and interests… hoping in-part that this free-communication will make the taboo a little more approachable. I’ve been trading the gadgets and electronics for fountain pen and paper, I regained some hand-control after losing the necessary coordination to perform all of the magic that I’d like… this energy and chaos is fueling my art (mostly inkwork) that I hope will one-day, someday soon, inspire tattoos for my left shoulder and beyond.

I don’t have all of the answers, but I like to help. I like to share, even when it’s all random stuff. Everyone has something to complain about… so I offer: get out and do, enjoy, and make life grand. Don’t waste time worrying about the wrong stuff, be thankful for the right stuff, and try to take responsibility for as much of life as possible.

I sleep during the daylight (usually), and I’m awake for the quiet, the clarity of night. The sky is filled with opportunity, and my dreams are as grand and as lively as ever (some people might blame opioid analgesics). Reality binds us all. Control goes to those who take it… and dreamers… well, I can assure you, aren’t so bothered by rising gas prices or burdened by others’ failures. Life is just too good’n’short for that.

I’m excited for this weekend, next, and the 16th. Righ’now ain’t bad!

Stay positive, honest and informed, and you can be ‘tastic, too.

I have posted a few things on my Tumblr, and will continue to do so, thanks to a neat, free application (for the iPhone) called Lifecast (links to application in iTunes). Using this app, I can very easily and very quickly update my “status” and post on-the-go without the complications of typing login information into a browser window.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been busy and I’ve been sick… and being ill has only made me more busy—backed-up with countless emails to respond to, correspondence, phone calls to make, appointments to reschedule, art, illustration and writing to complete.

I plan on getting back into the groove, my goal is to increase my overall content output. I don’t get a lot of commenting on my blogs (a bummer, because I write and create to stimulate conversation)… my traffic and pageview totals tell me that people are viewing my sites and content. I’m changing some stuff, too.

My plan is to start vlogging. I’m still figuring out the elements of the “show,” still plotting the “pilot,” and deciding whether to use Seesmic or something else.

One last note:

I’m not going to change my inkblog address (for now). It’s bradchin.com and fairly-easy to remember… and I can’t justify creating a new inkblog site to do the same thing. Perhaps when the content changes or if I modify my style. I’m going to post ink later today.

Apple has released iPhone 2.01 software to address the abysmal battery-life and keyboard lag. My use (thus far) tells me that it’s definitely an improvement (though not quite stable-enough to replace “business” phones). If you want to chat about iPhone stuff (games, applications, functionality, etc), please let me know. I’m planning to write an iPhone software review (what’s hot, what’s not), something simple for friends with less-time to aimlessly browse the net and the iTunes App Store.

I feel very lucky to have some good friends, willing to set-aside time to take care of me during my illness. Long-story short—my medications made me dizzy, nauseated and then sick; I couldn’t get out of bed for a few days, couldn’t drive for a bit, couldn’t leave my condo and couldn’t eat (and hold-down food). I’m pretty sure that I’d still be sick without their support.

Until next time…

The inevitable question I used to answer in oh-so-many different ways. It’s not my favorite question; it’s occasionally more of a statement, and I don’t always want to share the answer.

• With close-friends: it’s a phone call or shared in-person.
• With other friends: SMS or instant message.
• To all others: a blog post.

ABOUT ONCE A WEEK, I’D HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SUM-UP AND SHARE my life events, stories and work in the form of a blog post. If I had something particularly-important, I’d even cross-post. I enjoyed the recaps, the feedback, the small, semi-insignificant validation that my life has meaning…

this is all in the past.

Now, the web-elite has microblogging; this simple 140-characters-or-less pleasure is significant mental-masturbation, and the death of the “what’s up.”

The process is not only simple, it’s accessible and always-on. (Well, maybe not Twitter… but some microblog is going to be up!) These services can be updated via instant message and SMS; from a PC or a phone, friends, family and others can follow, get notified and update. Almost anything can warrant a change of status: going to the grocery store, standing in line for a movie or a club, meeting someone famous, having the rare opportunity to hang out with Bradtastic… and with a microblog, the whole world could know it.

Not that the whole world would (or should) care. Regardless, these services are so integrated and “status” is so heavily-prevalent, many people are likely still unaware that they’ve bought-into the trend. Myspace has it, Facebook has it… instant messengers have it.

 
Several times last month, I sat at my computer, staring at a blank page, wondering why I couldn’t blog about my life. I finally realized, and it was so simple: I already had.

life then, just doesn’t feel worth living.

DURING THE BETTER TIMES I’ve experienced some of life’s great pleasures and wonderful experiences. I’ve met some of the most interesting people, some beautiful women with wonderful personalities and gorgeous character. During these times, I’m still in pain but I feel great; I’m in my element and it shows.

I love having people come up to talk to me, a group of women during “girl’s night out,” ignoring the groups of men and the pairs of guys (trying to pretend they’re too cool and not interested.)

The guys gawk and can’t understand how this tall, thin and possibly frail, injured, flawed, long-haired, dark-sunglass wearing Asian is getting all of this attention.

I hear “is he famous?” “I think he’s a model,” “I’ve seen him before, he was with that blonde, remember her?” It’s all in the distance… they’re too-timid to move into my territory. I’m clearly under the social-spotlight, and I enjoy the adoration. I don’t own the club, bar or venue… I do however, during these moments, dominate the ground I stand on and wouldn’t want it any other way.

I want to share these joyous memories

I want to document them; without actually seeing it happen, many can’t understand, appreciate or even believe that these stories are true. During these good times, I’m not looking for sex. I’m not looking for love… I’m finding company, personal connections. I’m entertaining and being entertained, it’s as if my soul is taken care-of by these events. The flattery is a welcome ego-boost; arrogant as I am, I know my flaws and I know my weakness…

I know that at almost any-moment, without warning, I can be stripped of it all and I’ll be sent spiraling-downward,

forced to deal with tremendous pain and the agony of defeat brought-on by my condition—no outside force is ever so irrevocably damaging as the side-effects of narcotics and the withdrawal symptoms from not taking them as the mere-shell of the deeper damage, trauma, mixture of physical and emotional pain…

…slowly seething, swirling in a brew, the eventuality always similar or same: I’m going to hurt. It’s really going to hurt.

I’m lucky to have a few great people, willing to sacrifice so much time and energy to help me feel a bit better. It must be difficult to put-out so much with prior-knowledge that no amount of effort will ever FULLY alleviate my suffering. It can be a disappointment to try so-hard and never fully succeed or accomplish one’s goal… this I know.

This, to the great ones who’ve helped me, and continue to help me through: I love you, so very much. Thank you.

Real life happens, however, and sometimes gets in the way.

With the help of dedicated friends and supporters, I’d formulated rough guidelines and rules governing successful interactions. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what to call it, so or the sake of simplicity online, it was “Bradtastics.” There’s a few group pages under that name… my short-term goal is to consolidate that material, but there’s so much of it. Within a few quick months, 89 discussions and one dozen pages, most of it is conversational.

At the moment, I’m leaving everything where it is; if you’ve missed any (all) of it, you can view the different sites, take-in the content, and even add to the discussions. Some of the material isn’t particularly well-written, and though it might make sense to just move on, bits of the content is too important to me to pass up.

I will redraft, rework and repost the entries, comments and tidbits of importance to the art of impression, as well as anything of significant-interest to others in the past. To be completely honest, writing about relationships and interaction for a blog is much harder than I thought it would be… but I’m aware of the importance of the issues and can’t wait for the published book to start sharing.

Also: if you’d like to start-up a discussion with me or my psychologist-buddies… just ask!

If you’re reading this at bradtastic.com, you’d see that the site has been stripped of the artwork and imagery, most of the previous articles and entries are gone (or hidden, “same-difference” to the viewer), and that I’m finally using K2. K2 is many things, “good” amongst ‘em, but it’s also more complicated. I hadn’t taken the time to test K2 before making the “upgrade,” so I’m learning as I go. It’s a good thing you’re not paying me to read this blog, huh?

A lot of changes are being made. New content, of course… I also started a new sub-site, spill.bradtastic.com for personal stuff, my friends and me. Probably not too interesting for anyone outside of the circles, though I do find interesting web-apps and beta services (every day). I share links and beta codes, but my microblogs (check the sidebar) and Plurk are probably easier to follow than a tumblelog.

It would help me (greatly) to know who reads this blog and why; I can see the traffic, but instead of comments I get a lot of personal emails. Unfortunately, many of the “game-related” or “art of impression” questions are really, really good; I’d like to share the questions and answers with others, I think it’ll help.

Lastly, thanks for dealing and waiting: it’s not always easy, just being a person, with five-dollars-per-gallon gas and a shoulder disability… often I find that working on my blog is at the top of my want list and at the bottom of my need list. Needs vs wants… sounds. Familiar.

However, because of my illness, I haven’t been able to setup this website as I’d been chatting about at my Twitter and such. Rest assured, I’m currently working on making the updates, upgrades and changes that will make this website a reasonable-replacement for all of the Bradtastics sites and group-pages. I might even link a new, better forum someday soon.

How to get the latest news and “art of impression” tips…

…is really quite-simple. A few days ago (after weeks of Twitter-bugginess and bad-service) I caught chatter about a new service called Plurk. Interesting name, great service. Getting into the action is simple. Finding people at Plurk, well, isn’t.

But all you have to do is click here to join Plurk and follow me.

And leave a comment to let me know how much you care. Who knows, perhaps it may even make me feel better. (Even though standard diagnostic medicine may disagree.)

The show is narrated by Krista, Jennifer, and through interviews. Their attorney who helped them plead guilty in Lima, Peru was also part of this show; Krista and Jennifer had no idea how common drug muling was. It’s now even worse; there are currently seven American citizens imprisoned in Peru, one female. In 2007, Peruvian authorities catch an average of two drug mules a day.

The girls at 19 years old lived what they called “the high life, the fast life” in the LA area and Hollywood. It appears that they had many different jobs, one of them involved club promotion. Between hanging out at the hottest parties and handing out flyers and invitations for the clubs, they were known as “the girls,” and they partied literally until daylight many days a week. Out of nowhere Krista got a call from an old family friend named Jose, only described as a full-time student and surfer. Krista states that it was strange that he called out of the blue, and all of a sudden he was in their lives; possibly the other way around as the girls ended up moving into his place, sharing his extra bedroom which opened up onto the beach, riding around with him in his hot car.

He had two friends that were around almost all of the time. They were Peruvian as well, and they were at Jose’s place basically every night. The story goes that, basically one day when Jose wasn’t around the two Peruvian guys asked Krista and Jennifer if they wanted to have an all-expense-paid luxury vacation “in paradise,” where the water is blue, the air is pure, the skies are clear and it’s warm all of the time. Being young and wanting to travel, they agreed… they even agreed to go with the catch being that they’d bring back “a little bit of something extra.”

A little bit of cocaine. As they tell the tale, at the airport going to Peru, they met “an American” (they think) who asked them what they were doing going to Peru. When they said that they were going to vacation there, he asked if they were going over to smuggle drugs; this encounter sticks in their minds because, as they recall, they honestly thought that they were the first people to ever do this. On top of the all-expense paid trip, they were going to get $5,000 when they get back. They were already making plans for the $10,000 they’d get once back home.

Once in Peru, they were greeted by two men who treated them like crap from the beginning. They put their bags in the car and zipped away, once some distance from the airport, they asked for the women’s passports. They made it clear that they had at least one gun by leaving it in plain view.

The girls were left in a crummy hotel about 40 miles outside Lima, with an emptied out pool and crappy conditions. Their bags were taken, as the drug smugglers needed to modify and insert the cocaine. The girls recall being bored, doing whatever to pass the time, walking around the hotel and watching Spanish television shows. They were told not to leave the hotel, but they were sent on a tour of Lima after two days.

The next major event is that they got their bags back, and the two men instructed them to remain cool and explain that they were at Matupichu and Cuzco… and while watching the show, I was thinking, “why didn’t they actually take the girls to Matupichu and Cuzco so that they wouldn’t have to fake anything and they could have pictures for evidence?” (It makes even less sense that they didn’t do this after hearing how much pure coke they were muling.) They got their bags back, and in the morning, they were picked up by someone else and taken to the airport in Lima. Even though they were given anti-anxiety pills, it’s clear from the description that they were acting nervous and suspicious from the start. They denied help from the porter, and headed up to the ticket counter. They noticed police and drug dogs all around, and an agent at the ticket counter who questioned them. They explained that they were there for nine days and visited Matupichu and Cuzco (two tourist spots because of ancient ruins in both locations… I guess), but the agent doesn’t buy it. They’re screwed.

They’re taken to a back room and drug dogs sniff out their bags. Although the dogs can’t smell it, the officers aren’t yet done. One inspector pokes the bag with a rod, out comes cocaine. They spend almost an hour ripping the bags apart, and eventually pull out a false bottom box. 8.7 kilos (I think) were packed in the bags. About twenty pounds… that’s a lot more than “just a little something,” and I think that for that amount (about $1,000,000 worth, US street value) the girls should have actually been taken to Matupichu and Cuzco! At least they’d have had some fun before going to prison.

He makes them watch their plane take off for America. I’m sure it’s a tactic to get them to break down. They were taken to the jail of the local police station, still in disbelief, still in shock. They cried themselves to sleep, spending more than fifteen days in that cell. They had meetings with a representative from the US embassy and their attorney, who helped them plead guilty… however, they were incarcerated for 18 months before formal sentencing. On March 11, 1998 “the girls” were charged.

With their testimony, the two men they had contact with were arrested, but the total size of the drug ring is not known. They were given six years, one more than the required five. In some way, it might have been a blessing in disguise that they were arrested in Lima instead of in America; although the conditions were bad and the food was gross (had bugs in it, a rat tail once), they would have received a mandatory ten years if caught in the US, might not have stayed together, and would have been put into a dangerous American prison. From all accounts, although conditions weren’t great, the prison that they were in operated more like a small city and they were able to make friends at the facility. The other women there took care of them and their attorney was able to bring them food and comfort, giving them the hugs and nurturing that helped them to survive their situation.

They were released early for good behavior, spending a total of about three years in prison. When they got out, they went different ways, Krista went back to California and Jennifer went east to be with her family. The story concludes with Krista going back after about 8 years (or something) to the women’s facility in Lima, to see Americans (if there are any there) and to see people that were there when Krista and Jennifer served their sentences.

Jose was never charged in connection to their crime, however during the time of filming, he was in prison in the US on other drug related offenses. Krista graduated from college and with her degree she is going to help people Africa. The documentary does not cover what Jennifer is currently up to, but they do show the real girls together, and they surprisingly captured an amazing amount of Krista’s emotion during the visit of the prison. She saw one woman who’s been incarcerated for more than ten years, and the woman gave Krista a big hug… it seemed clear that the girls made friends who had the heart to help them through their tough stay.

One thing about the National Geographic style is that they use actors to reenact the events of their story. I was wondering the whole time how accurate the portrayals were, if they went to the actual hotel or if they were even in Peru for the bulk of it. The actors didn’t really look the same, but it helped to flesh out what really happened. I think I saw the actor who portrayed Krista in something else.

The reason I wanted to write about this event and post it is because drug muling is incredibly common and not a good thing to do. I hope people can learn from their story, I wish more people had access to see it. I don’t think that the larger part of America took notice when this event took place, and after doing some research it was clear that their representatives in America felt that the government wasn’t offering any support and practically abandoned them in Peru. It’s not easy to find a lot of supplemental information regarding their story, and what I have found has been repetitive and a little bit vague.

Don’t smuggle drugs!

(I was almost going to write about this yesterday, but I was feeling too ill.)